So... I'm selfish.

Not totally off of the spiritual base here; lately I am feeling impatient for my future. I think this may be directly related to that my life is speeding up and passing me by rapidly (or maybe even the cause). One thing that Ben has always said is that we must try to enjoy where we are right now. But it just seems like my definition of "seeking" God's plan for my [our] life [lives] means always looking ahead... very frustrating for me. I am even capable of admitting that I know I can be in God's will with my every day life (aka where I am NOW). For some reason, though, I am looking for it (God's will) to be in something exciting...waiting for me...NEW. Its that- "NEW"- that I feel like I am always reaching for. Why can't I "Be still and know that He is God"? In my bible study that I am doing right now, which I have referenced several times, Beth Moore addresses that unsatisfaction and similar feelings are a result of a broken relationship with the Lord. I am NOT saying that my relationship with the Lord is perfect but I have confessed to Him that I am willing to go and do whatever it is that He wants me to do. And I definitely wouldn't say that my relationship with the Lord is insufficient. So... obviously I am looking for the Lord in the wrong places (eh-hem) my near future. I pushing Him into my ideas of what I want. If you would, please pray that I no longer try to put Him where I want to be, but that He can put me where I never thought I could be. OK, I think that in typing all of my thoughts I have realized where I've messed up. Thanks, y'all and yay God!

Inspiring Words

This is a song by Shelley Moore Band that always speaks to me (the lyrics that I remember anyway):

Hearts are hurting, faith is shifting, but our souls don't rest on sand. Pillars of strength now piles of rubble; in tears we try to make sense of this puzzle. Seasons will change, colors will fade. These notes will be heard no more. One day the pain will cease to remain, but this was NEVER A STORY ABOUT ME. For now we cry wiping the tears from our eyes; we wait for You, we wait for You. You are making all things new. For now we cry wiping the tears from our eyes; we wait for You, we wait for You. You are making all things new.

To me this song says that no matter how "awful and unbearable" we think our circumstances are, we must remember that it is not about us; its about Him. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." James 1:2-3 Thank God for the times that you think you can't go on. To glorify God is to allow Him to show Himself through you. So all you have to do is let Him work.

The Great Smoky Mountains

Today is the day that we are celebrating our anniversary (which was Tuesday the 17th). We are going to Cades Cove which I believe is one of the most beautiful places in the world. I'm pretty sure that because I love it so much wherever my house is in heaven will look a lot like it. Anyway, we are going to pack a picnic and go hang out there until time for our dinner at the Richmont Inn restaurant where they serve a four-course fondue (MY FAVORITE!) meal, chocolate included :). There is a pretty good chance for rain today, but it held off long enough for us to go running this morning so maybe it will hold off while we're at the Cove.

Three years of marriage have FLOWN by. We've lived three different places, lost contact with friends, gained new friends and changed our opinions on different things. God has been so good to us in our 3 years. I am looking forward to the next 3 (and more). If you have any GOOD comments about marriage please leave them here. I like to hear people say good things about their spouses.

By the way... the biggest thing that I have learned in the past 3 years is that it is true what the Bible says: "It is not good for man to be alone!" Just kidding... my biggest lesson (and the hardest for me to learn) is the lesson of silence. I know that verbal communication is VERY important in a marriage, but usually if I will keep quiet and take it to the Lord first, the problem or concern or whatever passes much more smoothly. Sometimes its never brought up because in talking to God about it, I realize that it was my own selfishness or spiritual emptiness; sometimes Ben will bring it up to me before I even say anything; sometimes I am the one to bring it up after my praying first and the discussion goes very well. Now, I'll be honest and say that I don't ALWAYS pray about something before I bring it up to Ben. Ladies and gentlemen, that is a mistake. But, like I said, this has been my biggest lesson and the most difficult for me to learn. Thanks for listening. And Ben, I love you more than ever!

I'm gonna copy you, Jared...

Here goes, y'all...

My efforts to be a consistent woman of faith will be chronicled here. My hope is that this will create some extra sense of accountability. I, like Jared, am prayer journaling. Not only does it keep me in a daily habit, but I feel more of a connection with my Jesus when I am writing. Drifting thoughts are not a problem when I am talking (writing) to my Lord. Plus, its neat to go back and see how God has worked in your life and in others lives and how your prayers helped.

I am currently reading Beth Moore's "Breaking Free." Great book ,if you need a good one to read. The book is about the benefits and obstacles that keep one from receiving the benefits of having a REAL relationship with God. The chapter that I read today is a bout the obstacle of prayerlessness and the benefit of peace. Beth says, "... peace is the fruit of an obedient righteous life." She reminds us that "the better we know God, the more we trust him. The more we trust him, the more we sense His peace when the wintry winds blow against us." (Eph. 1:17) Not only does prayer bring us peace, but it gives us protection, power and PASSION! "... it turns cowards into conquerors, chaos into calm, cries into comfort. The enemy knows the power of prayer!"

Mark 1:35 tells us of how even Jesus prayed with His face to the ground! Pray, pray, pray.

My first attempt at blogging...

April <><